Lesson #75: July was a stressful month.

Hello everyone! I am so sorry it has been forever and a day since I have blogged. A lot has happened!

So July was a very... interesting month. I went through a lot that changed the way I looked at life. Like I've said before, I'm a very positive person. I like to look at the positive side of things (which sometimes can be annoying to some of my friends!) and I like to think in an optimistic way. I went into a slump when I found out I had Mono and would not be attending Wilderness Trek (and not just because I was physically drained). I was so angry at God. I thought things like, Why would He let this happen? He knows how much I look forward to Trek! How could this happen to me? Why would He do this to me?. I still don't understand the timing of things, but through those two weeks I was stuck at home, I realized some things. I did some "soul searching" if you will. I came to realize that there were things in my life that really just shouldn't have been there, and there were some things that weren't in my life that should have been! I prayed and prayed for God to show me what I need to do about it. I went out on a limb and everything turned out okay!

This past Saturday, my brother married his best friend and love of his life. I'm one of those people who cry at every wedding I go to, even if I hardly know the people getting married. I knew that I would cry like a baby at my brother's. And guess what? I did! I've never been happier for anyone in my entire life. I've never seen my brother happier than when the doors opened and he saw Whitney for the first time. It was an awesome day, shared with the most important people in my life.

Yesterday I filled out and submitted my first college application. It hadn't hit me until that moment that I was going to be a senior. I'm graduating in 291 days. I'm going to college. I'm going to be independent. And it scares me! I'm so excited, but it really scares me. I just don't know if I'm ready! I don't want to grow up! Yes, I'm ready to leave high school, SOOO ready. But to go to college? Away from my parents? From my friends? I still don't even know where I'm going to go! ACU? LCU? OC? So many decisions.

You know what my response is to all of these? Prayer. Whether it be a prayer of anger, a prayer of thanks, or a prayer of guidance, God is the only one who can give us the answers we need. Even if we don't understand at the time, He knows what He's doing. He's already planned everything out. Crazy, huh?